STORIES, STORIES

Sometimes, when I'm not being an asshole, I leave Summer alone to do her work. Not today, though. I mean, look at that tan!

I head to work every morning at 8am, and most mornings, I see this. Here is Jeddah's own (and only?) form of public transport. For men only. Thankfully. 

Hmm... Where to go next? What to do, what to do.

Every time someone I know goes to Manila, I ask for these things. Because they are made of awesome sugar.

I wanted to take pictures of myself (that don't involve a mirror and my camera being in the picture), but I've just realized that I don't own a tripod. In fact, for a photographer, I don't own anything at all.  What is this fail?

One of my mom's friends came over with her grandson. You know how sometimes, women get baby fever for like a minute, and then the baby starts crying like insane, and then women go "what the hell was I thinking? No, I don't want babies!"?  There's a reason why women have such bad memories, and why they have such forgiving hearts. For if they didn't easily forget all that pain and stuff, there wouldn't be babies in the world.

Don't even ask me how I managed to get some reading done. We've got guests, my cousins (who need entertaining) staying at our place for a few weeks, I've got a full schedule at work, I'm trying to build a relationship with my PS3, there's the gym, my research, my myriad health conditions that need getting seen to, and so on and so forth. I do some reading in between classes. This book is from Matt's collection, too. Pretty entertaining. It's about American politics in the 19th century (circa Ulysses Grant), and Gore Vidal managed to write in a really funny, 1800s voice. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 3 out of 5. Other books I've read this year HERE .

Without Googling, what do you think the name 7-Up stands for? This is the only diet soda that I can force myself to drink, mainly because the taste really remains unchanged. I hate all that watered-down Pepsi shit. So our trainers over at the gym have a new hobby: checking up on me post-workout to see if I'm sneaking in my usual soda and cigarettes, and then yelling my name across the gym so everyone else can look at the fat-ass with the soda can in hand. I would say "Fuck you, trainers", except they would totally kick my ass.

Desks are for feet propping.

I got my Portal 2 in the mail finally! And so I did what any normal human being would have done in my place: skip a day of working out so I could play it. It's so awesome. I shall write a review of the game once I'm done with it (which I am dreading! I don't want the game to end!). This is my nth attempt at gaming, and I don't think I did very badly this time. At least I didn't die within the first 5 seconds.

The intertubule connection hasn't been kind to me. (THANKS, MOBILY.) So here's my post for May 21. Incidentally, the end of the world. Or the beginning of the end of the world. According to this man here . Of course, here in Jeddah, the only sign that people believed this is how crowded the underwear shops were. Like, people were getting new underpants and stuff. You know, so they don't get caught dead in their grandma-knickers. Also, our friendly hay2a  is roaming the streets. Be weary, folks.

The requisite weekend lunch, when we're all like, "MANNN DO WE HAVE TO?!" and then we go, and then we have huge LOLs, and then we remember why we all get together on weekends to lunch. My friends have become so used to me taking pictures (of them) that they feel weird when I don't. Here's what happens when we lunch. People have serious discussions about work and career. And people have serious food and drink. -- Here's Turki doodling. (It's a car, of course. Boys.) -- Here's Suhail trolling my brother. (Suhail is the only guy I know in real life who says "innit?") And then of course, my friends get curious about my camera and they want to try taking pictures themselves, and because I'm too busy being loud and obnoxious, I hand it over. Here's Marwan trying out the focus with his stuff. -- Suhail tries it out, and w00t! There's me! (I'm being demure here, it's my new personality.) And so on, and so fort...

I've been incapacitated for the last couple of days, as you may have noticed, because you care about me so much you that you come and check my page for new updates every hour (yes, I may or may not be talking to myself).  Let's just say that if you ever have severe lower back pain (also known as MOTHERFUCKER IT HURTS), and the doctor recommends you do some specific exercises to ease yourself back into the world of normal movement, and you are confused as to what exactly the exercises are, here, I'll tell you how it's done: You basically just make like you're having sex with the air in front of you. For about 5-10 minutes. Every hour.  In no time at all, you will be back to normal. So yeah. I've just been stuck at home for the past few days. Trying to recuperate. Therefore, I only have a picture of my dad. Here. I'd post a picture of my mom, too, except she would murder me. Not that my dad wouldn't either. But hey.

My favorite part about Mobily is how they're always early when it comes to sending me notices for next month's bill while at the very same time HAVING SHITTY, SHITTY CUSTOMER SERVICE. Fuck you, dudes. Having said that, however, in Jeddah, Mobily is the lesser evil. So choose Mobily for your telecommunication and internet needs. You won't regret it as much as you will if you chose STC. You will want to hang yourself, sure. But you won't regret it.

Oh, hai!! Yes, I've been busy with the books. Here is Book 13 of my "I Want A Kindle" reading challenge . Muhammad Yunus' Creating a World Without Poverty is really about micro-lending and social businesses: how to create businesses with the main goal being social benefit instead of money. It's an interesting read (if you like economics, this is nonfiction), but a bit too idealistic, in my opinion. Or maybe I'm a cynic. But who cares about me. This guy got things done. You should listen to him. So anyway, back to my reading challenge. I've decided to make money out of this challenge, since money is the greatest motivator (sorry, Yunus), and so I pay myself 5 riyals to read 50 pages a day. I've collected about 200 by now, and so far, it's working, coz I'm way ahead of my reading challenge. 37 more books to go! So yeah. Oh, and this book was a birthday gift from Mahwish and Baber last year, September 9th 2009 (09-09-09!).

I put off reading Khaled Hosseini for so long because I knew he told stories that were tragic and sad and violent, and I don't like reading stuff like that. It's like watching a depressing movie when you're depressed. I'd pick something fun and light to read any day. Buuuut because of my 2011 Reading Challenge to Finally Get a Kindle , I had to. I skipped the parts where domestic violence was described in detail; too disturbing to read. Oh, and yeah, it's about 2 women in Afghanistan and the paths their lives took during that huge political mess in the country in the early 2000s. I give it a 3 out of 5. I got this book as a birthday present 3 years ago, from possibly the most ethnically ambiguous person I've met so far, Fatma Hocaoglu. She's from so many countries it's impossible to place her at first glance. You can imagine how gorgeous she is. I haven't read his first book, so.

Our first stand-up comic on That Jeddah Podcast , Rami, is also secretly Adam Levine (of Maroon 5, don't act like you don't know). -- And this is Diya, who saves me hours of editing. -- And this is Dee; she doesn't need introductions for she is no stranger in this blog. This day felt exactly like it looks here. 

I strongly dislike restaurants that have the audacity to be pricey when they have horrible service, horrible food, horrible design, and horrible (lack of) maintenance. I'm looking at you Fratelli . I don't care that people rave about your yummy sheesha (shown below with the legendary pineapple, also known as "cheap theatrics to justify 65 riyals a pop"). I'd just as soon go to Crusty, where at least they are honest about the crappy parts of their restaurant by being inexpensive. Humph. Plus, Crusty has wi-fi. --- Michael in a rare moment of delight. That's delight, isn't it? --- I am currently liking this black-and-white business, as you may have noticed. 

The Genesis Code by John Case I'm not a big fan of mystery/thriller novels, but then again, I would read anything. I give this book a 3 out of 5, because it's nicely written, unlike the lazy writing style that most authors of this genre tend to fall into. Yes, I'm talking about you, Dan Brown. Did you not watch Dead Poet's Society? "Don't say very tired , say exhausted " and all that? The story is also pretty much The Da Vinci Code, but this was published in 1997, which means that there's about 250 pages that could be eliminated had there been internet in those days. Speaking of the internet, it's being such an idiot today. I would tweet that and then FB status update it, except IT'S BEING SUCH AN IDIOT.  Also, this is one of those books from Matt that I inherited. Not bad. Other books I've read this year HERE .

It was our own Sharifa 's happy birthday, for whom we wish all the best in the world because she deserves it!  Lia couldn't help but feel just as excited as the birthday girl. Why do little girls all think it's their birthday? <3 We had her birthday lunch at Ara'ek Nakheel, Red Sea Mall. Pretty place, but horrible service. The waiters were bullies: we couldn't order without apologizing first. Apologizing for what, you ask? WE DON'T EVEN KNOW! They just had this "WHAT NOW?!" look on their faces the whole time. The food was pretty good. If you're in the mood for some Arabic, you might try this one. Bring money. Some of us ordered stuffed pigeon (pictured below) which came with stuffed intestines (they like to stuff stuff), and some of us ordered rabbit. And yet some of us wanted to order stuffed infants/babies, but apparently, no, this restaurant doesn't serve any random cute little things. Just.. pigeons and rabbits. 

Athr Gallery and Toby by Hatem Alakeel had a silent auction today of pictures donated by photographers here in Jeddah. Proceeds go to the rebuilding of schools badly affected by the recent Jeddah floods. I went to check out Helmy's photos (one of the featured photographers), because I'm a fangirl when it comes to my friends' photography. (Helmy is the guy responsible for my profile picture in this blog.)  Also, I bumped into people I know, because Jeddah is just so friggin' small. I don't know why I'm always shocked when I bump into people when IT ALWAYS HAPPENS. I especially love that it happens on the days I decide not to look my best (which is, really, every day). Anyway, here. Photos in photos. Photo in this photo by Helmy Al-Sagaff.  --- Munch for the noms. (For "ace". Ahem.) --- Photo in this photo by Sina Ata --- Photo in this photo by Sueraya Shaheen (I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.) And here's a video by the awesome...

You know how when you watch a movie or a show, you can sometimes tell within the first 10-15 minutes if it's good enough to watch until the end? Sometimes you meet people and it's like that. Within the first few minutes, you know you're gonna be good friends. That's my segue to the point of this post. I visited Nadeema, who is one such friend, and her daughter Shatha provided the entertainment. We remember this cutie from when she was a little girl and I took photos of her years ago: HERE . Look how much she's grown! Afterwards, I went to have a most profound and 'open-minded' 3-hour conversation with another such friend. GUESS WHO? We said we'd get some work done while we hung out. I'm afraid we didn't.

Don't tell me you're from Jeddah if you don't know what this is. (I want to submit this to JeddahFood.com  as a restaurant review. Think they'll accept it?) As soon as you walk up to this fine mobile restaurant, you are greeted by the cook-slash-waiter-slash-bossman who barks out the menu. This here's baleela  (or garbanzo beans for you fancypantsers). I think they put pickled cucumbers in there, too. Not sure. --- Below: He also makes Yaghmoush  (pastry stuffed with beef. I think, not sure.) and then he stuffs them into a plastic bag, and drowns it in sauce. It's also important to note that this man is evidently married; someone liked it and put a ring on it. --- Here be the sauces. Vinegar, hot sauce, ketchup, pepper, salt, mayonnaise, and repeat. Prices aren't bad. For 9 riyals, you can try everything, and then add a riyal to get a drink. It's usually some juice. Or Vimto -like beverage. Service is quick. Within minutes you're set. I d...

Who was it that said "the cure to depression is to get up, dress up, show up"?  We all get depressed for a multitude of reasons: petty stuff, first-world-problem whining, life-changing problems, heartbreak, whatever. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we girls, our first solution to this is to shut ourselves off from everyone, stay in bed all day, feel sorry for ourselves, mope, sulk, play sad, sad, sad songs to aid us in the tragedy of our dramas, and bask in the glory of self-pity. I don't make light of it, because depression isn't funny right when you're in the middle of it. But on many occasions, getting up, dressing up, and just showing up somewhere has helped. So try it.  Even if it's just down the street (kinda).  So why does this sign say this? It IS obviously for display. I scratch my head in mild confusion.  --- Summer took this shot after I forced her to try my camera. I love it because IT LOOKS LIKE MY HANDS HAVE LOST WEIGHT, EH? EH? 10 Point...

Even dolls here want to get married. Do I want to get married? Not necessarily, no. I can't say it's on my top list of things to do before the year is over, certainly not. But do I want a wedding? HELLZ, YEAH. I'll have a wedding like you've never seen one before. That, I guarantee. We often mistake or interchange the idea of a wedding with that one of a marriage, thinking they're the same thing. So let's break it down: Marriage = responsibility, working on a relationship, commitment, living with another person, sharing. Wedding = a huge party where I'm the star, where my only responsibility is to show up, where I don't work coz other people are working to make me happy, and where I don't have to share shit coz it's MY night. So, single ladies, if he likes it but he hasn't put a ring on it , what do you think?