STORIES, STORIES

Internet, meet the chopsticks I will be using to eat chips with. For I am the bastion of elegance.

If you live in Jeddah and you're looking for a fun and easy way to sabotage your weight loss, you're definitely in the right place! Here's just one of the many, many foods that have super gazillion calories that do the trick. Incidentally, Al-Baik triggers horrible migraines for me. Doctors?

A bit early, yes, but that's Jeddah for ya. That's Lady Gaga (I think!) and her husband, who had a knife through his head. This year, I went as "a stupid slut".  I had hoped to honor the many, many females going to Halloween parties as "slutty whatever", and to avenge the nerds for all those times that stupid sluts go to parties as ugly nerds. So.. Victory?

... with the boys about billionaire heiresses and how awesome it must be to have their kind of dirty sexy money. Le sigh.

Our (almost) weekly nerdventure yielded one Mamadama with blue nail polish. #BSG

My cousin's daughter loves Oreos. Me? I love blurry pictures. FML.

I hate that I have to do my own laundry. This is the laundry area. My view Thursday mornings. FML.

I wanted to caption this with some technobabble to impress people. But who am I kidding. They're just speakers.

I was asked to take over a kids class for 3 weeks. I was so lucky that I even got to do an arts-and-crafts day with them! OMG! (That was sarcasm.) So on Arts and Crafts day, I told them to make a board game. It's not quite Battlestar Galactica, but the little monkeys delivered. I was.. proud. (That wasn't sarcasm.)

And sheesha with some friends of Sheri's.

Sheri's little girl is all grown up. Happy birthday, Mikayla.

I got a package from my brother Othman and I was really happy because I love getting packages. Until I found out it was just addressed to me but it was really a skateboard for my other brother Ayman.

I was miserable all Friday on the boat trip because I had lost my designer sunglasses (4th pair I've lost. It is, after all, my hobby to shit money). Summer and I stopped by a bagalah in Obhur and I got this 15-riyal pair. And because they're so cheap, watch I'll never lose them. I did find my sunglasses 4 days later in my make-up bag, the one thing I never open. So, yay?

After 3 long years (and then some), my birthday headphones finally gave. And only because I stepped on them. Thank you, friends-who-got-them-for-me.

I went on my 2nd boat trip this year (courtesy of Summer and Sharifa!!). So many people outside Jeddah would give anything to go diving and snorkeling here, so anyone who lives here should go and try it at least once. It's so worth it. Of course I'm all talk, because I STILL can't jump into water - I have to step in. Not very like a boss. But at least I can now venture out on my own without getting panic attacks, and I can swim underwater without hyperventilating and imagining a shark right behind me. Progress. What I like about all-day boat trips: ~ No clingy sand. What I don't like: ~ Motion sickness. 

But in Jeddah, nobody walks into a bar. At least not a real one. Sad face.

The new American Corner on Sultan Street is nice because you have more chances of getting a seat. And the waiters aren't as sourface-y as the ones in Khalediya.  -- BUT. American Corner is really only good for breakfasts. Nothing else.

There's always an elaborate dance leading up to the strike (or the opposite of one).  It's really like the El Paso, come to think of it.

Kids, sometimes, I just got nothing.

These are so old school.

Ah-woooo, pop, pop. Ah-woooo, pop, pop. Sun colaaaaaaaaa...

There used to be a school on this spot. -- Ibrahim is back! -- Catching up at a cafe. Like always.

HAI INTERNET! I've started to work on this project called "I Will Not Waste My Time Anymore and Instead I Will Learn New Things On The Internet." I know, I'm so creative when it comes to titles. Love me. I've decided to keep track of this project by blogging about it on my Posterous account. Originally, I didn't want to put it out there for everyone to see, because I wanted to keep my failures private. But I think maybe in this case, it's best to put my embarrassment aside in favor of meeting people who can help me with my project. I think they call it "Courage". Or, in some cultures, "Balls". Check it out HERE .

This is what it looks like after a game of BSG (with the Pegasus expansion). My favorite part: sorting out stuffs to the original soundtrack. *adjusts glasses*

The BSG board game is more than JUST a game. It's a brilliant romp of accusations, incompetence, high-charged drama, poker face, betrayal, mud-slinging, paranoia, blatant douchebaggery, and sexual tension. You say "foreveralone", I say "a Thursday well-spent". -- Guacamole adds 10 points to the die roll. -- Khayra in a moment of uncertainty. -- Hakeem in a moment of military might. Or just thinking of his next line, who knows.

I have yet to meet a girl who didn't like to receive chocolates. I don't enjoy the actual consumption of chocolate as much as I do receiving it as a present. <3 Chocolates and books.  These are Sarah's, from the UK. -- Also awesome: board games. -- Also awesome: friends that make you laugh. Welcome back, Suhail!