STORIES, STORIES

I wanna talk about Die Antwoord for a moment, because they represent a part of our psyche that is not often explored because of its very nature - awkwardness. Whether or not you've heard of them, the first thought you would probably have upon watching this live performance is "What the fuck?", probably accompanied by that laugh you reserve for the embarrassment you feel on behalf of someone you think is (or should be) embarrassed. You will hear many people in the audience in this video laughing that way. So what's so embarrassing about this? The fact that they take themselves so seriously? Maybe the way the girl looks like she knows its awkward but still goes for it anyway? Maybe you're sitting there thinking, 'you know what, they're not half bad, and the guy definitely has talent, if he would just stop acting weird'. Is this anti-pop pop? They are popularly unpopular, the Internet Explorer of the music industry, the musicians you can only...

In November 2009, I was out with a bunch of friends, one of them Camilo Moreno of the long, curly, brown hair and Spanish drawl, and we got to talking about sound engineering. Camilo worked in film, and he knew a lot about microphones and recording sound. At the time, I had been nursing this "brilliant" idea of recording short, fake interviews with random friends in Jeddah and then posting them online, because who wouldn't want to listen? Right? Who wouldn't want to listen to me ramble on and on? So I asked Camilo to help me with the sound. A few weeks later, at Helmy's studio, they both designed a make-shift microphone stand with tape and a camera tripod, and we recorded our first fake interview , amidst a lot of nervous giggling and awkwardness, mostly from me as I was unsure of what I was doing. By then, it already started feeling like something I would be spending a lot of time and money on, and I wasn't so sure I wouldn't be wasting my time. ...

Third week of NaNoWriMo ! Sit rep: * In Week 1, I got ballsy during a podcast recording and challenged the 3 friends I'm doing this year's NaNoWriMo with. My words were: "I look forward to finishing my novel next week (Week 2) and kicking all your asses." I am so full of shit, you guys. I'm 15,500 words behind on my word count and there's 10 days left. * I thought it was enough that I read a lot of sci-fi to try writing sci-fi. That is the wrongest thing ever. Forever. I try my best not to go back and re-read what I've written so far, because the few times I did that, I couldn't believe how unbelievably lame my novel is. * I'm approaching this the same way I do my workouts. There are bad days (most days) when I have to draw on every last bit of strength I have to do it, and there are awesome days (one day a week if I'm lucky) when 4,000 words are as easy as the friendly neighborhood slut. Whatever kind of day it is, I show up. * At...

So you're shopping for a present to give someone?  This MiLi charger is fucking A. The last time I used a travel charger was for my Nokia about 5 years ago when I went for Hajj, one of those 3-minute fully-charged deals. It was crappy. I got this as a birthday present from Uzma early September this year, and I've been using it since. The box says it has up to 500 charges in it, and I've only clocked in about less than a hundred. IT'S TRAVEL SIZE. It fits the palm of my hand. It comes in a tiny tote bag that has a teeny compartment thingie to better store the cable that comes with it. It's about half the size of my iPhone. One of my pet peeves about having an iPhone is how fast the battery drains. I'm almost always looking for a charger outlet, or beating myself up for forgetting to bring my phone charger. I always have the MiLi in my bag, and I haven't had that problem since. My friends love it, too, because I am Endlessly Considerate and lend i...

When I started doing freelance work as an English copywriter/editor/writer of words and wielder of swords, I thought the difficulties I would face would be unique to my situation - being a female in Saudi (always the Boo-Hoo Factor), not having was6a  (I guess the best way to translate this in English is "having friends in high places") or not being a member of the (literally) elite creative circle, and living in an Arabic-dominated culture. Being female limits me in terms of logistics. It's a hassle to set up meetings - mostly to find a venue, to arrange for transportation, to not "appear like a loose woman" because I don't have a male next to me protecting my honor, and many other dramatic things. Boo-fucking-hoo. Not having was6a  to name-drop is less inconvenient, but inconvenient nonetheless. This is different from having a nice-sounding portfolio with a list of prestigious clients you've worked for. Was6a  just means that if you have powe...

Smoking ban is officially in effect in Jeddah. Sheesha and cigarette-smoking are no longer allowed in any indoors cafe or restaurant. Of COURSE I'm gonna blog about this. I'm not exactly an advocate of smoking (or wait, does the fact that I'm a smoker automatically make me an advocate?) but I'm pissed off. Naturally. I did realize a few things, though. * I do stand by my non-smoker friends, especially the ones who are actively against smoking. It's a filthy habit, and there can be no arguing that it affects them both directly and indirectly when someone is smoking around them. You know who pisses me off, though? The ones who lecture me about the health aspect when they have zero health habits. I'm not saying smoking is right, but when you are obese or malnourished and have all kinds of health problems from eating all kinds of shit, and you come at me with the "health argument" to make me stop smoking, I want to punch you. In the eye. Then kill a...

I might have said this over and over, every year, since I started blogging in the early 2000s - November is my Fail Month. (Ironically) almost without fail, I prove myself right when something shitty happens to me on this month. Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? LET'S FIND OUT. For this year's Fail Month, I'm doing another one of my binge-projects, but this time, one that completely challenges me as an individual. Why so dramatic? Because a) I'm a very critical reader, and now's my chance to prove (or disprove!) that I can trash-talk like I can back it up, and b) I call myself a writer when I've never even tried writing a novel. Most importantly, c) I'm in this with my writer friends. The hope is that we can be muses, coaches, encouragers, and harshest critics to each other long enough to see us through one month of marathon writing. I'll be recording a podcast episode with them this weekend, so I'll just post our thoughts on this n...

The problem with Halloween is that it's not Comic Con. For instance, Hakeem created his Tony Stark from scratch. Wouldn't you have liked to know HOW he built it? Wouldn't you have liked to argue with Khayra about how she was more Anime character than Pepper Potts?  Wouldn't you have liked to hear about why I was dressed as Amelia Pond, why my nails were (Tardis) blue, and why you should love My Doctor (the 11th!)? No. You wouldn't have. Because it wasn't Comic Con. It was Halloween. -- Here's my first conversation with a stranger. It was the "guess who I am" conversation. Yeah, I really dunno who you are, I say. After a few awkward moments of shrugging, he says, Twilight? Really white guy? Ohhh, I say. Yes. Of course. *thumbs up* And you, he asks. Who are you supposed to be? No one, I say. I'm just here as a regular person. No costume.  Because he wouldn't know who The Doctor was. And Geekdom ...