#80 ~ My Charlie Sheen Moment

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Dear Future Me,

10 weeks from now, you will want to tell the story of how that epic squash game went, and how it all started. Here's the story.

I got a message from my friend Abdallah about 2 weeks back.

Abdallah: "I heard you wanted to get your ass kicked at squash."
Me: "No, I'LL kick YOUR ass at squash."
Abdallah: "2,000 Riyals says you lose."
Me: "Wait, I just started playing squash. I need to train. Give me 4 weeks."
Abdallah: "Take 10 weeks."
Me: "......"

Now, I don't have 2,000 Riyals. But I am addicted to gambling and taking bets. Remember that bet with Sheri a year ago to lose weight in 11 weeks for a thousand Riyals? The one I lost? Also, remember how I'm relatively new to squash?

But who cares about that, hey? I WIN. I HAVE TIGER BLOOD. If I visualize myself winning, I'VE ALREADY WON.

So today, I gave Abdallah my response. "When I win, you tattoo my full name across your arm."

So there it is.

Right now, I am dead. In fact, I'm writing this post from the grave. I spent a full hour (or maybe two, whatever) training with Asmaa, who is A FRIGGIN AWESOME SQUASH PLAYER it's insane. My legs are wobbly, I can't move my lips, my arms are shaking, and my face is GRINNING. WINNING.

Future Me, if you are reading this blog post in anger for having lost the game, tears running down your cheeks coz you're such a fucking sore loser, you must blame Asmaa for telling me how VERY good I am at squash for someone who only learned it by watching YouTube videos and googling "Squash" (which by the way gave me a lot of recipes for squash. Search fail.)

But if you are reading this while gloating and krumping and generally trolling Abdallah in victory, then maybe he should also tattoo Asmaa's name on his arm. Asmaa and all my friends who have faith in me and who believe that my obsession with winning will pay off. THAT'S A LOT OF NAMES, ABDALLAH.

(For anyone else reading, if you'd like to place your bets, email me that shit.)

How many shoes can you spot in this picture?

Oh, and also, Future Me, you should probably replace Mom's pretty handbag after I basically murdered it by using it as a gym bag. 

Love,

Old Me

Comments

  1. AliaMarch 21, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    I've lost count. If the conversation with Abdullah happened 2 weeks ago, doesn't that mean that the match is 8 weeks from now?

    Also, who's booking the bets? Does she (assuming that it's you or @RedDee86) take chocolate or coffee bets? Is there a betting limit?

    #CompulsiveGamblerInDenialUninc.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Saad Al DosariMarch 21, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    Add me to those who have faith that you will win. and add my name to the ones he will tattoo on his arm as well!!

    YOU CAN DO THIS!

    Saad

    ReplyDelete
  3. nessreenMarch 21, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Hning: No, TEN WEEKS! Lol. Bets accepted in all forms.

    Saad: I'm writing your name down! Watch this space!

    And now, I must go get myself 2,000 Riyals.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fruitful FusionMarch 22, 2011 at 4:56 AM

    You go Ness! I'm backing you! DON'T get SR 2000. You can do it! (You know I'm going to check on your training now)!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. nessreenMarch 22, 2011 at 5:53 AM

    Haha!! THAT'S the spirit!! XD Thanks!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. DimaMarch 29, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    So how's it going Ness? Are u playing with Berlitz Asma? Good luck :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. nessreenMarch 29, 2011 at 6:15 AM

    Oh, hello Spain!! :D Yes, playing with Asma tomorrow inshAllah. When you get back, I'll be SO GOOD AT IT. And, like, 2000 riyals richer. GULP.

    Send my love to my future Spanish husband. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. DimaMarch 30, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    that's not fair you two :( I really do hope you win the bet though, don't let us down, ok? And maybe when I'm back, you can teach me a few things :D Adios!

    ReplyDelete

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