I Love You, Online.

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I'm supposed to be writing an article for a ladies' publication, on online relationships. Instead, well, I am stalling.

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Why Online Relationships Work.

* People develop better communication skills. They are not so quick to say things they don't really mean, and they take that few moments before making a strong statement to make sure they are saying it right.

* It's easier to understand each other when people have something to refer back to; in this instance, a previous chat. It's easier to iron out misunderstandings.

* Chatting solves one of the main problems of some failed relationships: communication - talking about experiences, feelings, expectations, goals, interests, and so on.

* Alternately, people become better "listeners" on chat.


**
Why They Don't.

* So many of the things that people convey but don't necessarily verbalize (or in this case, type out) are lost in chat.

* Additionally, tones, moods and humor may not be as easily detected.

* What people know of each other may be limited to how they describe themselves. Self-image is one thing. How others perceive a person, or how that person interacts with others is a whole other ball game. Many aspects of someone's personality are invisible online.

* People may be excessively polite on chat, and, alternately, be excessively rude.

* When online relationships fizzle, there may be no real "break-up", just a gradual fading out in the form of lesser and lesser communication. Wait, that could be a good thing.

* And of course, the obvious one, the elephant in the room that is mostly ignored: physical intimacy.


So. For or against?

Comments

  1. AliaMay 27, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    I would love to help. And, basically, I'm neutral about method of communication between lovers, it's the physical intimacy that I'm vehement about.

    So yeah, on the long run, definitely against it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 30, 2009 at 9:18 PM

    it depends on the people involved. if they're serious about the whole thing, then they should take the affair beyond the chatting and see each other!

    i believe that if something's for you, then it's for you. nothing wrong if future hubby or wifey first got to know you online and you did what should be done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 5, 2010 at 6:55 AM

    Nice post, Diana

    How can you love someone you have no idea how they look? Well there is the webcam. But I was afraid to ask (maybe afraid of loving more) since everything else was perfect. Online love is much more true, when it is true.

    But, online is easier to drop, too. She was coming less than I wanted (I wanted her crazily) so I told her goodbye, and goodbye to the whole chat thing. Now I visit blogs like yours.

    ReplyDelete
  4. nessreenJanuary 5, 2010 at 7:17 AM

    HNING: I agree. Physical intimacy is a MUST.

    CORALBEAD: Meeting up online I'm okay with. But maintaining a relationship is gonna be pretty darned difficult if the couple hasn't even met yet. It's just way too... unsure.

    ANONYMOUS: If you're in an online relationship, I think you should never be afraid to ask to take it a step further. It's also nice to visit my blog. Thanks! :D

    ReplyDelete

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