STORIES, STORIES

Square Meater is a burger joint dressed up in cute hipster clothes, like most of the restaurants in The Courtyard . What this means is that this is where you want to go if you're looking for a place to sit and chill for a little bit after you're done scarfing down your fast food, OR if you want fast food and you don't want to tell your friends that you broke down and went to McDonald's. (Bro tip: save McDonald's for your late-night binges and fatass moments alone watching Archer on a weekend.) Here are other reasons to pick Square Meater for your next restaurant outing, which, if you're living in Jeddah, is probably tomorrow. 1) There's an outside seating area for smokers. If you're not a smoker, at least you wouldn't have to put up with your smoker friends' whining. Just sit back, relax, take in the humidity and breathe in the nasty smell from the sewers of Jeddah (available almost everywhere in the city). Fair warning, though, they've...

Jeddah is fantastic for many reasons. Life is easy, it's relatively safe, you don't pay taxes, many people speak English if you don't speak Arabic, and there are so many interesting people to meet. Make the most out of your stay with these tips and tricks. DISCLAIMER: Jeddah is just as horrible as it is fantastic. There is no such thing as "normal" over here. 1) Know how to get a feel of your surroundings. There are peak hay2a seasons. You'll know when this is because people don't shut up about it. It's usually during the spring break, Ramadan and Hajj breaks, and, actually any random time, when the religious police are on the prowl. Actually, there's no way of knowing when this happens. Sorry, I can't actually help you here. 2) Customer service sucks so much ass here. Asking to speak with the manager is not always effective; and sometimes, you're ALREADY speaking to the manager and he treats you like shit. I've found that if you...

This week in Jeddah. Oh, hai. You came back for Jeddah updates. Good. Now pledge 2 riyals to keep this blog going, just like these nice people did . Health Everyone remembers that fateful day when the smoking ban was finally implemented all over Jeddah. The city was deserted, with only the sound of the whispering wind and a couple of tumbleweeds populating the streets and the cafes as people stayed home and exercised their god-given right to acquire lung cancer. Jeddah in October 2012. Photo credit: The Interwebs. Times are a-changing, however. There are hushed tones of delight as Jeddawis whisper to each other which cafes and restaurants have started allowing indoor smoking. "I know I always complain about how we have problems with following up on rules that we implement, but this time, I celebrate it. GOOD JOB, AUTHORITIES!" said one person. Not surprisingly, this person is in fact not a smoker. But thanks to the lax nature of rule implementation in Je...

The past week in Jeddah: Hi, I'm your all-professional, fully reliable source for unreliable information in the city, which is really the only kind of information available. Yes, call me The Street Journalist. It's a thing here, everyone is a journalist (and/or a stand-up comedian) in Jeddah now. Weather Residents of the city have started complaining of the heat. Seriously, remember this? It was "cold" for like, one day, two months ago, and even then, my AC was colder. I still have recent photos of my friends in hoodies. God, Jeddawis. The change in weather has left people distraught; all the nice winter clothing they have bought will now be forced into retirement, or risk having perpetual dark sweat stains around the armpits. And that is unholy. For more weather news, check Twitter hashtag Jeddah, hashtag First World Problems In A Third World Country. Raids The Jawazat Raids are like debutantes this week, the talk of the entire town. Everyone, and I...