What If...
Whenever I forget, I am reminded of just why it's good to LISTEN to people.
I'm a talker. I non-stop blab and I'm loud, and because that's not enough, I like to interrupt people when they're talking. Listening takes incredible effort.
Last night, at a small gathering of Jeddah's young, smart set, I tried this thing where I listened more than I talked. It's stating the obvious, but I really took away a lot from the experience.
The subject of Death came up. Like Omar (pictured in left), Death is something that always runs in the background of my mind, like an app you can't really turn off. [I wrote about it a few weeks ago for one of our writing sessions].
Most everyone agreed that we fear death because we just generally fear the unknown, because we fear pain, because we are just built with an innate fear of death, and - the most popular one - because it's the one thing that can stop us from doing all the things we've set out to do, The Unfinished Business trope.
Amna (also pictured left) was talking about how it would be a shame to die before she'd put all her plans to action. Omar asks her to imagine that she COULDN'T do any of those things, would it change the way she felt about death? He repeated this question a few times, and Amna kept giving the same answer.
If you knew Amna, you would also see how awesome this exchange was. Here is a woman who, despite all the limitations put on her, still manages to see only one thing: what she wants, and how she can get them. She has so sharpened this skill of blocking out obstacles and only seeing possibilities that it just wouldn't get through to her that there exists that other possibility that SHE CAN'T DO IT. Short of death, nothing can stop her.
This shouldn't be surprising. Amna is responsible for Intellect Jeddah, an organization that encourages Saudi female youth to employ critical thinking through healthy debate and discussion, something that is not necessarily a common activity over here. I highly doubt she was able to keep this running with an "I JUST CAN'T" attitude.
It definitely makes sense that when anyone poses a "What if you can't" question to the likes of Amna, they would not understand. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T? Such a ridiculous question.
Short of death, why CAN'T you? Sure, this is exactly the kind of general advice that doesn't take into account specific limitations you might have - money, physical ability, whatever - but that's YOUR job. Take your limitations into account and then sidestep them.
I don't have money to go to the gym, but I can still work out. I don't know how to code, but I can learn to.
The only real question we have to ask ourselves is "What do we want, and how badly do we want it?"
I find that living in Jeddah - and yes, as a woman especially - it's so much easier for me to retreat, give up, and "accept" that I can't do things that I actually CAN do with a little bit of thinking. It's this culture of laziness and whining and not willing to sweat over anything, that we all saturate in.
Seriously, what if you can?
I'm a talker. I non-stop blab and I'm loud, and because that's not enough, I like to interrupt people when they're talking. Listening takes incredible effort.
Last night, at a small gathering of Jeddah's young, smart set, I tried this thing where I listened more than I talked. It's stating the obvious, but I really took away a lot from the experience.
Most everyone agreed that we fear death because we just generally fear the unknown, because we fear pain, because we are just built with an innate fear of death, and - the most popular one - because it's the one thing that can stop us from doing all the things we've set out to do, The Unfinished Business trope.
Amna (also pictured left) was talking about how it would be a shame to die before she'd put all her plans to action. Omar asks her to imagine that she COULDN'T do any of those things, would it change the way she felt about death? He repeated this question a few times, and Amna kept giving the same answer.
If you knew Amna, you would also see how awesome this exchange was. Here is a woman who, despite all the limitations put on her, still manages to see only one thing: what she wants, and how she can get them. She has so sharpened this skill of blocking out obstacles and only seeing possibilities that it just wouldn't get through to her that there exists that other possibility that SHE CAN'T DO IT. Short of death, nothing can stop her.
This shouldn't be surprising. Amna is responsible for Intellect Jeddah, an organization that encourages Saudi female youth to employ critical thinking through healthy debate and discussion, something that is not necessarily a common activity over here. I highly doubt she was able to keep this running with an "I JUST CAN'T" attitude.
It definitely makes sense that when anyone poses a "What if you can't" question to the likes of Amna, they would not understand. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T? Such a ridiculous question.
Short of death, why CAN'T you? Sure, this is exactly the kind of general advice that doesn't take into account specific limitations you might have - money, physical ability, whatever - but that's YOUR job. Take your limitations into account and then sidestep them.
I don't have money to go to the gym, but I can still work out. I don't know how to code, but I can learn to.
The only real question we have to ask ourselves is "What do we want, and how badly do we want it?"
I find that living in Jeddah - and yes, as a woman especially - it's so much easier for me to retreat, give up, and "accept" that I can't do things that I actually CAN do with a little bit of thinking. It's this culture of laziness and whining and not willing to sweat over anything, that we all saturate in.
Seriously, what if you can?
...by far one of the most important human traits is the very notion of self-empowerment...that we HAVE a bearing on what is achievable and what we can manage shape in life - be that at a personal level by reaching our own goals, or at a wider, social level where we can actually change where we're going as a socially collective entity and hence change the course of history....
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