Happy Birthday, Beyonce!

It's the time of the year where I

a) tell everyone how I share the same birthday with Beyonce because for some reason that validates me

b) catch up on her music videos before I go to sleep so I can compare our lives and timelines and feel simultaneously inferior (it is Beyonce, after all) and superior (she's OLDER than me, hah) to her while I eat junk food

c) respond as uniformly as possible to the multitude of birthday greetings that flood my Facebook wall and feel slightly more validated by the fact that people pay attention to Facebook's announcements of whose turn it is to receive 2 minutes of everyone's attention

d) list things that I've learned since my last birthday.

Here is that list.

I have learned that:

1) We are all stepping stones for each other, all of us. The sooner we accept this, the easier it is to let go of people. You know those moments when you're having so much fun with someone and you suddenly get this feeling that you're going to lose them someday, either to someone else, or to their own lives, or to death, and you get momentarily and quietly depressed about it for a second? That's because it's true, you WILL lose that person. But that person is a stepping stone, and you are a stepping stone to them, to bigger, better things.

2) I've always believed in the age-old Mayan saying: "Ridiculous if you dance, ridiculous if you don't. Might as well dance." Okay, maybe it's more Tumblr than Mayan. Whatevs. But yeah, I've learned that if I'm trying to decide whether or not I should do something, I should just ask if it would make ME happy. And then fuck the poh-lice, do it. There will always be at least one person who disapproves of my actions and my decisions, and I take this as a sign that I'm doing it right. We are living in the age of the internet, where, for every person who disapproves of you, there are at least 5 who approve. You just have to find them.

3) It's not fame that I want. I want to be good at what I do. I want to be so excellent at what I do that I become famous for it. If I become famous for any other reason than this, I would have failed in all aspects of life, in which case I would really rather not be famous.

4) When people tell me that I've inspired them to be more creative, or to start a hobby, or to develop their skills, or to start writing, or to get a cat, or to wear a pink tutu and lots of make-up, whatever, just INSPIRED them, it inspires ME. Is that narcissistic? Yes? Who cares? Maybe I'm the kind of person who looks at the mirror and asks her reflection to marry herself. Maybe not. It's still inspiring to be inspiring. I feed off of people who feed off of my energy.

5) The first step to succeeding is showing up. If I show up, I've already accomplished something. 

6) Balance is not only important, it is inevitable. If I do one thing very well, I do another thing very badly. My iTunes library is impeccable and perfectly organized, which must mean if I open my closet, it's a dumpster (seriously, it is. I just checked.). I've read 5 books in the past month, which means I haven't touched my podcast playlist. It's the biggest misfortune of being human - not being able to have everything. The secret is in the switch: which one do I put in Yin, which one in Yang. I just have to angle it in juuust the right way to serve my purpose. For instance, if I have friends coming over, I tilt the balance just a bit, and voila - my closet is impeccable, my iTunes library a mess.

7) I can't control everything. I know, right? You'd think this was common sense. But in case you didn't get the memo, I'm kind of an asshole when it comes to controlling all the things. I must know things, I must know where I stand, I must have the power to change and control and be in charge and anticipate the next 3 moves. This is why I suck ass at video games, or driving, or swimming, or science. But it's ok to suck at these things. It's ok to not be able to control everything and everyone. It's ok, and, again, inevitable.

And that's it. 7 things on my list. 

I was gonna add an 8th item, which is "Age means nothing to me, what's important is how old/young I feel, not what my actual age is." but that's bullshit. I'm getting the jitters.

I AM 29 YEARS OLD. 

I'm at the door of The Twenties and they are shoving me out, but I've got both hands and feet on the doorway and I am not leaving without a fight. I'll be That Girl who keeps repeating unfunny jokes and snort-laughing in a room filled with twenty-somethings while they mime a repeated circular motion with their index finger next to their ear.

I am officially the age where, when people ask how old I am, I think it's cute to say "How old do you think I am?" (brotip if you actually do this: IT IS NOT CUTE.)

GAH. There is only one way this day will end - me watching more music videos. Because I am officially the age where I have to actually MAKE AN EFFORT to be caught up with new music. 

So tell, me, internet. TELL ME I AM AWESOME. Validate me. If you do otherwise, I will delete your comments.