Our Little Secret.

I loved this Victoria's Secret 2010 show. It's fun, the outfits were beautiful, the models gorgeous, very creative, confident, so vibrant and just fun. (Saw it on Heba's blog.)

What man watching didn't think "I'd love to be with a woman like that"?

More importantly, what woman watching didn't think "I'd love to be THAT woman"?

Yes, my friends, I know, we have discussed this extensively. That whole image of the perfect woman (at least appearance-wise), and its effect on society, human behavior, and ultimately, health, so on and so forth.

And no, I'm not shitting on my skinny, gorgeous friends (who also happen to be models) just because I'm not them.

This is about realizing certain things.

Some men who end up with plus-size women are just "settling" because that's "all they could get". Especially if they believe that women are only attractive if they look like a certain way (which is like a skinny model, or some actress they've fantasized about forever). Now, before we all scream obscenities at these superficial men, we should at least try to understand why they would think this is so.

First of all, we can't blame them entirely for thinking like this. People have points of view shaped by their surroundings, by how much they are exposed to (haha "exposed" to). It's sad, nothing more. Taste is taste, and humans are not perfect beings.

If you're a guy and you think like this? Dude. WHY ARE YOU SETTLING? Fucking go for the woman of your dreams! Seriously. Why waste your time fantasizing?

And if you're a girl and you don't look like his fantasy, and you don't like that he thinks he's settling? Simple. STAY AWAY FROM THIS GUY. Otherwise, you'd end up "settling", too. There's plenty men out there who don't think like this.

I don't wanna say we're all victims of media and how they portray beauty, because we're really only HALF-victims. We have a choice. We have brains. WE SHOULD USE THEM. Pursue what you want, don't do this half-hearted settling bullshit.

2. Art is subjective, yes. But also, popular art is dictated by a group of powerful individuals we like to collectively refer to as media. It doesn't matter how intelligent a person is; every now and again, you stumble upon something like this video, and you start to think about all the things about your body that is "wrong" COMPARED TO THE MODELS'.

Beauty, or more appropriately, "sexy", is what sells. Being a photographer myself, I can't entirely blame photographers for "following" this trend. If my photos don't reach that "standard" of beauty or sexy, (which by the way, is almost always FAKE: fake beauty, fake body, fake hair), who would buy them? And THEN what would I do for money? It's nothing personal. Natural just doesn't cut it.

Natural means you don't put on make up, and you don't manipulate the photo. That's a disaster. Lines in your face, dark circles under your eyes, a zit that showed up just in time for a shoot. Some cellulite. Stretch marks. Bloating (who cares if you're bloated because you happen to be on your period, which is natural?). Hair on your arms.

No, I'm not talking about people who don't look after their hygiene. I'm talking about NORMAL people. Normal just doesn't cut it.

Even those photos that show "natural" beauty? Haha. Sure. Elaborate lighting, make up, photo editing.

No, photographers, I'm not shitting on your work, either. I appreciate them. I myself love professional photos that my photographer friends have taken of me; I LOOK GORGEOUS. I sell! I make the cut!

But it's not natural, it's not normal. No wonder we're shocked when we DO see natural pictures. Admit it, even your profile pictures on Facebook are all your best photos, that are not you being normal.

Natural is ugly.

3. I'm not promoting obesity. When I say "love who you are, and don't let anybody tell you what to do with your body or what you should look like", I don't mean "GO AND STUFF YOUR FACE AND DON'T EXERCISE AND BE FAT".

On the contrary, I say EXERCISE. Take care of your body. Take care of your health. If it means you have to lose weight or gain weight to get healthy, DO IT.

People are beautiful when they are confident. And confidence is an excellent side effect of working out and being healthy. It's an awesome bonus. I've seen such beautiful people, men and women, who don't look ANYTHING like your (or my!) fantasy, but who are so confident that no one can help but be attracted to them.

Confident people can be all shapes and sizes, they can be glamorous all the time, they can be the kind of people who don't bother with any make up at all, they can be tall or short or skinny or fat. But you can always tell a confident person.

Normal doesn't mean ugly. Plus-size doesn't mean ugly. Neither does super skinny.

Not taking care of yourself is ugly.

Allowing people to decide if you are good enough for them or not IS UGLY.

There is no excuse for not trying to be fit. AT THE VERY LEAST, TRY.

And if you do end up with a normal person, who is maybe too skinny, or maybe fat, or maybe just normal, it doesn't mean you are settling, especially if that's what you want.

And if you so much as THINK you are settling? WTF. DON'T SETTLE.

It's good to be reminded of such things, because we joke about this a lot. How many times have we made jokes about being fat, about being too skinny, about being hairy or ugly or about NOT being Eva Longoria, or not being MARRIED to Eva Longoria.

Really think about it.

Me, personally, I don't like to surround myself with people who can't see past these things, who judge people by their looks. I don't like people who promote images that make other people feel inferior because they happen to have thicker eyebrows than most models or "fantasy people" do, or because their bellies are sticking out, or because they don't "sell" or "make the cut". Even in jest. Because you know what? Jokes are the ones that have the most impact on people. Jokes influence people more than we like to admit. Because, you know, who wants to be the butt of a joke?

Those people remind me of someone who once said, in extreme rage: "I hate her so much, I hope to God she dies fat."

True story. (Hahaha that sentence is wrong in so many ways.)

Anyhoo, I'm gonna finish watching the Victoria's Secret video.

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