FORGIVENESS.
Possibly one of the most difficult things to do. To forgive. Which is a shame, because it's really the only thing one needs to do to move on.
JK Rowling said in that speech she delivered that "there IS an expiry date to blaming your parents.." I agree, and in fact, it applies not only to your parents, but to everyone else around you.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean you are weak, or that you are making yourself vulnerable to more abuse or hurt. It means you accept what has happened, that you were betrayed, that you were treated wrongly, and yet you are willing to start over again.
Everyday is another chance to start over. Living is hard work.
And I'm saying this as much to you as to myself. I need a lot of convincing in this area.
I forgive.
***
When you meet X, you are immediately struck by the strength of her character and personality. Power suit. Executive job title. Expensive business cards. Precise make-up, immaculate hair. As much animated as she is serious, she has an air of authority that is at once intimidating and well-deserved, if that made sense.
I wondered how she got to be like this.
She told me a little story. It was unprecedented, it was common, it was very soap-opera. But I listened.
7 years ago, on her way home from work, a car crashed into the one she was in. She ended up in the hospital, broken hip, broken legs, broken everything, completely immobile and bedridden for 6 months. It was 6 months before she saw the street outside her hospital window. It was 6 months of excruciating pain, of hearing doctors say she would only acquire a limp, if she even recovered at all. Some said she wouldn't be able to walk again. Depression, of course, the twin sister of all women in their weakest moments, visited her often.
What made it so difficult, she said, was the fact that the guy who hit her car was not only uninjured, but didn't show any remorse at what he had done. No apologies, no guilt, nothing. All she wanted was for him to suffer as much as she did.
"Forgiveness," she said. "When I forgave him, I got back on my feet. Literally."
***
I had to share her story, even though there's nothing extraordinary about it.
We can only find inspiration wherever we can. Even in the little stories that people tell us.
My sister who got divorced hasn't moved on. After I read your story, I think it is because she still can't forgive his ex-husband who, she believes, made her life miserable. I feel if she forgives him, she can be a happier person.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, your blog is very nice. I just enjoyed reading a few stories, and will read more now.
YAMATO GIRL:
ReplyDeleteIn so many cases, when we feel wronged, or when someone treats us badly and we feel we don't deserve it, we cry out for justice. The problem is, (and I'm quoting a character from the TV show Battlestar Galactica) we always mistake vengeance for justice. Vengeance almost always consumes our lives. I hope your sister finds the happiness she deserves.
Thanks for reading me! :)
Osto den. To forgive is difficult and, actually, so is asking for it. Pero, sa madakel a situations na giyoto bo i kailangan. :)
ReplyDeleteIf anything, forgiving improves blog traffic.
ReplyDelete