I'm So Money.

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I can't believe how hard I'm finding it to just write down my expenses. I'm finding it a little difficult to breathe, and I just want to take my brand new laptop and smash it into tiny white Sony Vaio fucking Olaf pieces. It's such a restriction, knowing I have to curb my spending, and this restriction is making me miserable.

It would be easier to understand if I were the spoiled daughter of a ridiculously rich family. Which I am not. Where is this Righteous Indignation coming from, then? I don't know. I really don't.

So I work. I don't have any responsibilities right now. I am earning money and I am able to spend this money and waste it. Isn't it my right to do so? If I'm okay with wasting my hard-earned money, and I'm not affecting anyone around me, what's the problem there? If I'm okay with cashing my check and then proceeding to literally burn that cash straight out of the bank, if I'm okay with it, then there should be no problem. 

Who cares about the future? Who knows if I'd even be alive then to use up the savings I'm supposed to be setting aside? When I die, I wouldn't have lived my life to it's fullest because I was too busy saving money and denying myself all the things I could afford to do. It's not as if I could use "all that saved money" after I'm dead. Then someone else would benefit from it. 

I should benefit from my own money.

If anyone has the right to waste it, that would be me.

If there was ever an "appropriate" time to waste my hard-earned money, it would be now. When I don't have any responsibilities.

Call me what you will. Chances are, I've already called myself all of it. 

All I'm saying is, it's tough. And I hate this budgeting business. It's fucking me up.

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