M'sian Chronicles, Dispatch 2

I moved to Malaysia in 2013 to work in publishing. Almost two years of living here means it's time I list down the things I've learned, after the initial fog of novelty has cleared and I've fully immersed into this new lifestyle. Quickly and dirtily, some background info: I come from Jeddah, Saudi Arabia and all my experiences are tied back to that stringent culture, but I'm also Filipino – Southeast Asia is not completely strange to me. I'm apparently shaped by my Islamic upbringing even though I strictly speaking don't adhere to its ideals.

This is Item #2 of that list.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

Malaysians speak 3 major languages – Bahasa Malaysia (Malay), Tamil and Chinese (Hokkien or Mandarin), but English is very widely used, which is why it's easy for me to survive here. But knowing English here (as in most other countries where it isn't the first language) is not nearly enough; one has to know the local version of it to truly understand what people mean when they say things. 

Below are some expressions in English that Malaysians use, in their own context, which used to (and sometimes still does) drive me crazy because... well... grammar. It took me a while to get them.

* having here (to mean "dine-in")

* go back (to mean "go home")

We have smoking breaks downstairs our office. Here is a typical conversation:

Me: Alright guys, I'm going back. See you later.
Coworker: What! You're going back already! So early ah!
Me: No. I'm GOING BACK TO THE OFFICE. I'm GOING HOME LATER AFTER WORK.
(War commences.)

* follow someone (to mean "hitch a ride with someone")

Writers and photographers are sent to interviews (for our articles) together. When I was a writer (I've moved on to the publishing management side of things), I'd have this back-and-forth with one of our photographers:

Me: What time are you heading out for the interview?
Photographer: After an hour. Do you know how to get there? You can follow me.
Me: No, I don't know how to get there. But I don't have a car. How do I follow you?
Photographer: I know you don't have a car la that's why you follow me.
Me: How do I follow you?! A cab?
Photographer: *slaps his forehead because this woman is a dumbass* AIYOOOO

* stay back (to mean "work late")

I've had to explain to friends/coworkers that when they tell me to stay back, I think that they are commanding me to stay as far away from them as possible. Because they farted.


* some more (to mean "plus")

"It's so hot today! Some more I'm sleepy."

* can (used the same way as "sure")

Me: Is it possible to get a car for only 3,000?
Friend: CAAAN.

* what (used in place of "though")

Me: I think the client will reject this layout.
Coworker: But it looks okay, what. 

* the other day (to mean "one time")

When sharing stories with friends:

Friend: The other day, when we were in Indonesia, we met this really cool guy.
Me (to myself): You were in Indonesia 6 months ago.

* never (to mean "didn't")

My driving instructor: YOU NEVER USE THE BREAK!
Me: No, I DO use the break, I DIDN'T use the break just this one time.
My driving instructor: YOU WILL FAIL THE DRIVING TEST. AND ALSO DIE.
Me (to myself): You will fail the English test.

I actually enjoy this part of the cultural immersion. It's LOLs.