What I Won't Do For Love

You guys remember this?

I'm pretty sure at some point in any person's life, they've discussed this song with a bunch of their friends. It's one of those unexplained rites of passage that our generation adapted.

Yesterday, this happened:

Me: "So what exactly is it that Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love?"

Am: "Yeah, especially when he would do ANYTHING for love. It's a big statement."

So: "And it's Meat Loaf. What WOULDN'T Meat Loaf do?"

Ah: "It must be something really terrible."

So: "Like what? Chew his arm off, for example?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he'd do that."

Se: "Fuck a dude. He won't do that."

[Pause]

Everyone: "No, pretty sure he'd do that, too."

Sh: "Math."

[Pause]

Sh: "I would do anything for love, but I won't do Math. That's what he means."

[Pause]

Everyone: "So Meat Loaf is standing in front of the love of his life. His right arm is missing - chewed off. A dude is lying on the floor to his left after having been fucked. Meat Loaf is handed a piece of paper with a math problem. He grabs the paper, tears it up with his remaining un-chewed-off hand, throws it down and says 'FUCK THAT SHIT', and walks away from his beloved."

---

Everyone then agrees and goes their merry way.

I don't know, what won't I do for love? I know I'd certainly do (and have done!) abstract shameful things, like let myself be walked all over, drag down my self-esteem to raise his, ditch my friends for love, and so on.

I won't do Math. Math is not for love. Math is for me.