Where Are We Going?

So, yeah. Driving.

First, I'd like to congratulate all the people who participated in the campaign for women to drive in Saudi Arabia, including those who didn't ostracize and throw eggs at (or hit with an 3egal) those who DID participate. This is indeed a baby step, albeit a huge baby, towards the fulfillment of women's (and in fact, men's, too) most basic of rights: the right to think for themselves and to make their own decisions.

And that's what we should probably remind ourselves of: what we are fighting for. What IS the point of all this? Driving, although very real and very literal, is really just a strong symbol representing our right to do things without having to ask permission from a male relative.

What other areas of our lives do we have to constantly ask a man permission to do?

Education? Our right to acquire knowledge and be brilliant?

Marriage? Our right to find and choose the right person at the right time to ruin spend the rest of our lives with?

Career? Our right to become better at our chosen profession, our right to earn livelihood?

Travel? Our right to go places we need to go to in whatever form of transport is available to us?

Yes. But save me the religious bullshit. We've all heard it. We've all read it. We've hashed and re-hashed it. No one is responsible for my religious decisions except myself, especially after I have been provided with my god-given rights and the means to acquire religious knowledge, but thank you very much for being so concerned with my journey to heaven. It's now time for all of us to focus on our own religion, our own relationship with god, and to stop worrying so much about how others are going to hell. Don't worry about me, you won't be held accountable for my decisions. Allah is Just.

Now that we've cleared the religious hurdle, we can look at other things.

I am unfortunate enough to have an asshole on my friends list who thinks he's funny when he says things like: "Oh, look at these stupid women who want to start driving. As if it will solve all their problems. You will still be ugly and fat even if you are allowed to drive." (Don't ask me why I keep this guy on my timeline. I'm open-minded, OKAY?)

No, driving will not solve our problems. After the ban on women driving has been lifted, we will still have financial problems, we will still struggle with our health, we will still have idiots like this one who (because MASHALLAH HE IS A PERFECT CREATION) will continue to abuse and bully women.

In fact, the truth is, if I can't afford a personal driver, I most certainly can't afford my own car. But that's not gonna stop me from supporting other women who can. The only difference is that I now think public transportation in Jeddah should be given just as much attention. We should get used to having women on the streets. We should erase the idea that women who walk the streets, or women who take cabs alone, are whores. Or worse, that they will be raped, kidnapped, tortured, mauled, mugged.

No, we are not exempt from this horrid reality, but it's part of having the right to think for ourselves and make our own decisions: owning up and being responsible for those same decisions.

All of us, whether or not we can afford our own cars, we all should remember what this is about. The right to think for ourselves.

It bears repeating. THE RIGHT TO THINK FOR OURSELVES. To make our own decisions. AND THEN TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for these decisions.

Everything has a risk. We have to move out of our comfort zone. For too long, this has been our comfort zone: blaming others. "My life is miserable because of male relative's name here."

We blame them for everything. Maybe they WERE to blame. My father/husband/uncle/grandfather/brother made my decisions for me my whole life. My career. My marriage. My education (or lack thereof). So when things fuck up, it's so very easy for me to say "What do you expect me to do? It's not my fault! I didn't choose this!", and yes, let's admit, it makes it a little bit easier to sleep at night knowing we can blame someone else. It hurts, but it's that kind of pain and drama that we revel in and enjoy and almost bask in.

So let's ask ourselves this question: Are we ready to blame ourselves?

Once we start driving, there will be accidents, bad things will happen to women, just like everywhere else in the world, and we will be blamed for it. Are we ready to accept this? WE SHOULD BE.

Because for as long as we allow someone else to make our decision for us in any aspect of our lives and then blame them for it, we will always, ALWAYS be banned from driving.

Let's not get caught up in the excitement of a protest, the heady glamour of being part of a campaign, a movement, a revolution. There's more to this than just pledging our support on our Twitter accounts, our blogs, our Facebook updates.

This is serious business, my friends. We are fighting for a basic human right. And as with all basic human rights that must be fought for, are we willing to die for it? There will be casualties. And it could be you. It could be me. It could be any one of us.

On a less foreboding and ominous note (sorry, I got carried away), what can we do to continue participating in this campaign?

We don't ALL have to drive. The point is that we want to have the right to choose whether or not we WANT to drive. It represents everything else that you have to make decisions about.

So here's a little exercise: Make your own decisions. If you fuck up and you fail, step up and own up to it because it's your fault. If you succeed, take ALL the credit for it, because you deserve it.

I think they call it Growing Up.

Don't tell me you drove on the 17th of June in Saudi Arabia. Tell me you made your own decision, and you took responsibility for it.

Driving isn't bad, as long as we know where we're going.