So, Oppression?
I'm sure by now we've all (or at least most of us have) read/heard about the 9-year-old daughter of an American mom and Libyan dad, the girl who chose to start wearing her hijab in the States at a very young age. [For the full story, click here.] The story is written from the point of view of the mom, about her personal struggle in accepting her daughter's choice, and the things she learned from it.
I've been asked by so many people about my opinion on this, so I'm just gonna re-post here the email I wrote to one of my friends on the subject sometime ago.
What does everyone else think?
I've been asked by so many people about my opinion on this, so I'm just gonna re-post here the email I wrote to one of my friends on the subject sometime ago.
I read this article a few days ago, and it's very interesting in that it really tests a person's claims on being open-minded, and it also explores some of the core difficulties that bi-racial/bi-cultural couples or families face. In my opinion, the girl is young, she has become influenced by this side of her heritage, and she is exploring it. It's nothing definite or concrete. It's a good thing to give space to young kids, it gives them a chance to learn and be open-minded themselves. But nothing will be developed if there is no follow-through. If the couple really wanted to give her the chance to choose for herself what religion she would like to practice, they should educate her on both religions and cultures.
Being young, she might equally be fascinated with the other, less Islamic side of her heritage. Perhaps at a later age, perhaps sooner than they think. She should also then be afforded the same leniency and tolerance if she does decide that bikinis are actually better for her.
Personally, they will face far more problems this way. If I were in the woman's shoes, I would just instill basic good values and teach her how to respect, how to be kind, to be spiritual, to be generous and to seek knowledge always. The universal good.
I hope it goes well for them.
What does everyone else think?
I read her story before. and it might be aphase for the young girl, maybe she is imaitating someone else.
ReplyDeleteBut what have i noticed from this child's story and many more, is that most people try to force their children at a very yung age to follow some of the Islamic (or any religion) rules. which is not healthy at all ( in my opinion). Kids must stay kids following the rules of the house they brought in (basic right and wrongs) . a child of 9 shouldn't learn things thaat only a child of 11 should know. It's not good for their up bringing. One day they will grow up and start thinking for themselves and all that the parents put in their minds will go to waste.
On another hand, i think that the story shows more of the mother struggle and open mind than any of the child's side. Maybe is her mother wrote two or three paragraphs in the girl's words. All i read was what the mother thought of this and that and how is that remind her of her childhood and such stuff. even the child's emotions were portrait in the mother's way of seeing it.
I tend to agree with you Diana that it is more of a cultural dilemma for second generations living outside their original environment or those coming out from a mix of cultures.
ReplyDeleteThe matter of wearing Hijab in this young age should not be the major issue (giving that even in Muslim countries, this is not the common age to start wearing Hijab!). It only signals so many upcoming challenges and choices that the daughter has to make, and the parents have to adapt to.
More of basic human values that, virtually, all cultures agree upon is the main job of any parents to teach their children, not only these two. The mindset of tolerance, understanding, and accepting others beliefs and different views becomes critical in similar cases.
And this what they should be really worried about!
I agree with "eyeonsaudi" even by saudi standards, the age of 8 is too young for the hijab.
ReplyDeleteIn Bahrain you see a few families with girls at the age of 5,6,7 with a hijab on their heads and your can't help but wonder if they were forced, or if they just wanted to look like mommy.
Like you stated at the end, the most important thing to focus on isn't the actual religion or how well they follow that religion, but rather how polite, well mannered and aware they are. You can only do so much for your children, and the rest is up to them. you just need to make sure they have the right ammunition to take on the world.
i say,let her do her own thing,Reasons dont matter why she did,but if thats what makes her happy,let her be.
ReplyDeletei am rather fascinated by how her lack of intrest in the tween stuff like body changes,puberty and "bikini" which made her more intrested in reading and astronomy..i dont know about you guys,but this definitely indicates that the girl is some one with deep thinking and thought.
i admire her having a strong choice and opinion at such young age,regardless islam or not,but going against the current is somthing brave,which gets nothing but props from me.
its clear that both her parents are tolerant,i dont think there is any more tolerance than marrying someone from a different faith and not having any problems with each practicing his own,if they agreed on each other,why would they disagree on their kids? iknow each wants whats best for his/her daughter,which to each is his/her religion,but still,they gave her the freedom and she chose islam. why all of a sudden concerns were raised when it was the "tough" choice?
Lagid angkai a miyangona a miyaka-comment, makapelagid ta saya sa pamikiran, Pade-drug. Mapiya den mambo angkanan a kiyapikira angkoto a wata sa kapekombong iyan ogaid na aya man a mala a iportante o sasaboten niyan antaa ka di angkoto a pezowaan niyan. Sa kaito iyan i edad na masiken a di ron pen somesenep a tanto so lalag na khapakay a di niyan pen tonganay a sasaboten. :)
ReplyDeleteWafa':
ReplyDeleteYou make a very good point. It IS more of the mother's thoughts, and less of the daughter's. Hmm. Interesting.
Saad and Frogman:
Thanks for your input. I think in our culture, we fail to remember that each person has a mind of their own to make choices and decisions for themselves, even children. Maybe it has to do with the idea that we are responsible for what everyone does, that it is our duty to "right what's wrong". The tricky part is to know if we are actually wronging the right. You know what I mean?
Dentographer:
For sure, let her be. She's not doing anything wrong, she's not hurting anybody. My question to you is this: If she had chosen to wear un-Islamic outfits like say, bikinis, would you be as protective of her rights to do whatever she wants? If she just as strong a choice and opinion about wearing un-Islamic outfits, would you be as fascinated? I think the concern was raised all of a sudden not because of her "tough" choice, but because of her age. It's not normal for a girl to be so strongly opinionated in something that she does not yet fully understand. What happens if she just as suddenly changed her mind and (strongly) thought "hmm, the hijab is not as cool as I thought it would be"? That would be such a fail in teaching her the real meaning of Islam and open-mindedness in general. No?
How many little girls here in Saudi started wearing the hijab very early not because they understood it, but because they strongly believed in it for other reasons, maybe it made them fit in, or maybe it 'shielded' them from ridicule, or for whatever reason? How about little girls here who strongly believe against wearing the hijab? Why are we not encouraging them nor are we letting them be?
BabyPink:
Hahahaha mala kadn a pade-drug. Miyakasinga ako sa sinaluda ta. (Tama ba yun? Haha. Inorante ako man sa kap-Mranao.) So osto niyan na kadaklan ko mga tao si-i na giyanan i miyasowa iran. Mikukumbong siran isako manga-ito siran a mga wata, kagiya-a aya iran pka-ilay apiya iran di sasabutn. Imanto na ba siran di kukumbong? Di. Igira bu a adn a paka-ilay. Major fail. (So osto na di akn katawan so "major fail" sa Mranao. Haha.)